For The Cats

Is A Hooker Cheaper Than a Date? I did the math!

F

irst off don't even attempt to hit me with some dumb ass shit like "Hack I ain't ever paying for sex", shut your dumb ass up usually the idiots that rings that off are the ones getting suckered into buying a Louis bag for a hand-job. The moment I hear something that remotely stupid I just got to walk away. If women weren't as picky as men, some of you aren't and god bless ya, this world would be over populated in a New York minute. It's a tale as old as time, dude wants date, goes on date hoping to get laid, pays for some shit and miss money makes that decision.

Well I'm here to tell ya fellas if its just a smash and dash you're looking for we did the hard work, we grinded day in and day out with extensive research to bring the answers you seek. Is a hooker cheaper than going on a date? Well saddle up partner I got some explaining to do.

So let's just say you're out there looking to just bust a bust a nut. Average time of lasting in the sack for a dude is roughly 6 minutes according to Dr. Randal Olson's study that took place in 2009. With a rare occasion of some lasting to 50 minutes of fuckin', Like I said I'm know genius and neither are you if you're taking the time to read this but that's a long ass time to clappin cheeks.

Let's break this all down now.

  • Average time to get ready for a male is between 11-30 mins, It's a date so lets take the high side of 30 mins.
  • Can't really calculate travel time but based where I lived is usually sitting around 25 mins travel time.
  • A good first date typically lasts 1.5 to 2 hours.
  • Drive home back to the shack, granted you got consent like gentlemen! Add another 25 mins.
  • Toss in the 6 minutes your pathetic ass is not going to please her one bit.

We are now sitting at a total of 3 hours and 26 minutes of your life put into this effort of maybe getting laid.

*Did not account for time at house chatting or that other shit people dude like show your pictures from the latest Asia trip.

Next up we got costs, shit ain't for free out there my dude.

  • No matter what way you shake it, fuel money needs to be accounted for whether its an Uber or driving there. From where I live to the downtown core of Edmonton,Ab is roughly a $23.65CAD Uber ride. Both way that's a cool $47.30CAD to kick off the evening.
  • Dinner for two, couple drinks for you both and hell it's cheat day some dessert never hurt no one right. Average cost there is roughly $130CAD
  • Bottle of wine at the shack for a possibly drink after dinner $20.13CAD (Insider Tip: The cheap shit tastes the same.)

Looking at total of $197.43CAD on a night of the town with the possibly chance of maybe, just maybe getting that little thing somewhere.

On the flip side of the coin we got the hooker route. The game changer if you will, you get the luxury of either going down to where she is at or get the classic Out-Call right to the front door.

  • $250CAD for half hour
  • $300CAD for a an hour (plus $50 call according to ones LeoList ad.)

So for arguments sake let's go with the lazy route where you get this fine lady of the evening to come right to comfort of your own house. Zero time has been put into getting ready, going out and risking the chance of a dud date either. You are going to spend $350CAD total for an hour of her time (which in that case if the average is 6 mins you got yourself 10 rounds big fellas.) Also spending the time you set out for getting what you were looking for in the beginning.

After this study was conducted going with a lady of the night you will spend $152.57 bone more but will save 2 hours and 26 minutes of your time. So it comes down to the question what is worth more to you? Time or money? Personally I see nothing wrong with prostitution, it's her body and if she wants to make a living off of it all the power to you. Hell if I could sling rod for a living I certainly would but I don't and I don't see a woman paying me for 6 minutes of panting and the odd moment to stretch out a cramp. Anyways that conducts my study for the evening in that time the wonderful girl I used to find rates on LeoList has shown up.

Signing Out.

Uncle Hack (Instagram)